Blacked Out.

Much to the disappointment of Paul D, this is the first post I have made this month. Blame exams. I have missed quite a bit over the last month. David Bain didn't kill his family. The Tamil Tigers were defeated. The New Zealand Parliament had a sex scandal. Iran's election sucked. Obama killed a fly. Michael Jackson's death completely overshadowed Farrah Fawcett's. Susan Boyle didn't win Britain's Got Talent, then she went bat-shit crazy. Paul D moved back to Canada. All of these events could, would and should, be compelling, acerbic and witty blog posts in their own right.

Alas, they have all been overshadowed.

On current form, 2009 looks set to be remembered in New Zealand history not as the year in which John Key fell down the stairs, or of the great financial crisis - or even the year of the great Eskimo debate. No, 2009 is likely to be remembered as the year the All Blacks sucked, losing to France, then struggling to beat Italy. I-T-A-L-Y!!!

This is disturbing. The All Blacks are normally good. Very Good. Consistently one of the best in the world for the last 100 years in fact. It's hard to explain the unique place that the All Blacks (New Zealand's rugby team for those of you too lazy to watch the opening video) have in the New Zealand national identity. Expectations we have of their invincibility are at odds with the usual disparaging sheepishness that we reserve for most of our national icons. (pun intended) But for whatever reason, the ethos of a team that can 'never' be defeated, even if it is in a sport most of the world hasn't heard of, seems to be ingrained in New Zealander's sense of themselves as a plucky little can-do island nation, that punches above its weight.

I know I've blogged before about how 'symbols of national identity' are largely just stuff the government either promoted to make everyone feel more patriotic, or stuff corporations promoted by preying on a misguided sense of patriotism. But I do feel, and feel free to disagree with me, that the affinity that New Zealander's share with their All Black team seem to be patriotic emotions that are more real, more natural than an affinity with say, Vegemite. I'm not sure why this is - I'm (proudly) not a sociologist. But there's a number of reasons.

Maybe it's the fact that one of the first times that New Zealander's began calling themselves 'New Zealander's' and not 'British' was in 1905, when the first All Black team toured Britain. Or maybe its the fact that some of the most closely followed events in NZ history were All Black series - see the 1956 Springbok Tour, the 1971 Lions Tour, the 1987 World Cup - or any Bledisoe Cup game over the last decade. Or maybe it was the 1981 Springbok tour, which divided the country into those protesting the South African apartheid regime vs those who just wanted to see NZ smash the Springboks. It's the closest NZ has ever come to civil war (see here for footage of the amazing flour bomb test), and cemented the importance of rugby as a key force in NZ society. Or maybe New Zealanders just like the fact that the All Blacks have changed as New Zealand society has changed - from the grizzled, cranky, high-country farmers of the 1960's, to the multiracial, strongly Polynesian outfit today.

One reason that I will controversially dismiss, is that New Zealander's love of the All Blacks stems from New Zealander's love of rugby. While it may have once been the case that every New Zealand boy spent his Saturday mornings playing rugby, every New Zealand Dad spent his Saturday mornings yelling 'encouragement' from the sideline, and every New Zealand Mum spent her Saturday mornings cutting the oranges for half-time - that is no longer, the case. Speaking as someone who reached the lofty heights of '5th Choice prop for the Rodney College 1st XV'- the majority of New Zealanders today are bereft of any aptitude for the game - and possess no interest to learn. So, in 2009, it doesnt seem to be the case that 'rugby' is an integral part of the national psyche, merely that 'All Black victories' are part of the national psyche.

This is unfortunate. While All Black victories lead to happy thoughts about New Zealand, to be in New Zealand after an All Black defeat is about as pleasant as spending a night washing Jabba the Hutt's left armpit. Defeat seems to dredge up a bunch of deep, dark thoughts by New Zealanders about New Zealand - about how maybe we aren't the tough, scrappy, little island nation that everyone hearts for trying their best - and maybe we are instead an international laughing-stock, with a bunch of sheep but very little else. It's bad enough in World Cup years, although since the All Blacks have made a habit of choking in the playoffs of every World Cup since 1987(!), New Zealanders seemed to have moved on from the disgraceful scenes of 1999, where the coach was booed in the street, and his horse spat at - to 2007, where a smattering of about 100 or so supporters turned up to show 'solidarity' with their defeated (and deflated) heroes. But in 2009, a non-World Cup year - to watch the All Blacks play like a bunch of rookies that would lose to my Grandmother's patchwork quilting group - is too much for most NZ'rs to bear.

The resulting bile that has spewed onto such auguste forums such as the NZ Herald's 'Your Views' section is depressing in its predictability. It ranges from thinly veiled racism - 'the All Blacks lose 'nowadays' because Polynesians dont have the same mental toughness of good, white, farmboys' - to allegations that they lose because they are unpatriotic -'ZOMG, they dont even sing the words to the National Anthem' - to the just plain weird - ' would someone please tell coach Graeme (sic) Henry that losing is unacceptable to ME.' It seems New Zealanders take the popping of the percieved invincibility bubble, as a direct and personal affront to themselves and their perception of their country.

On one level, the All Blacks marketers have only themselves to blame. The All Blacks have sucked in the past (in 1949, they lost TWO tests on the SAME DAY), and will suck in the future (all bets are off for the 2011 World Cup) - but to watch and listen to the marketing campaign - it is as though are invincible god-like beings. But it is incredibly unhealthy, to tie the viability of a national identity to the performance of a sports team - and to view 'victories' as intergal to the New Zealander experience. Sports teams have good trots and bad trots, its inevitable that at some point, the New Zealand team would lose a bunch of great players and have to rebuild. It is happening now, but will take a couple of years. That's a long time to spend in a funk about the future of the nation.

I'll still watch the All Blacks against Aussie and South Africa next month, even though I fear the worst - not only because I heart rugby, but also because I'm a proud New Zealander. But I'll try and keep a sense of perspective - and view these games as watching a sports team that I love undergoing a horrible run of form, and not as watching a country that I love fade into international irrelevance.

Alex