Posts
“A private sin is not so prejudicial in this world as a public indecency." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra)
The seven deadly sins denote seven characteristics that people can have; specifically, bad characteristics. Sucks to be you, if you're so horrible as to have all of 'em. Everyone probably likes to think that they don't have any of them. People, instead, like to think they embody the seven heavenly virtues (i.e. purity, temperance, generosity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility). But, if you've ever been – or presently are – a student, you're probably wrong. (Really, even if you've never been a student you're probably also wrong. But that's a separate issue... If you've never been a student you just a lost cause.)
I can say that if you've ever been a student you're probably a sinner because, it seems to me, each of the seven deadly sins is summed up by a type of student. Some students (e.g. full-time Arts majors) are innocent and heaven bound. Here I'll try to explain why much of the rest are hell bound.
Gluttony
Gluttony is the sin of postgrad students. They just can't get enough. After they finish one degree they can't help but come back for more. Instead of taking their meager education and contributing to society as best they can, they decide to do frivolous “research” into too often moot topics (which, more often than not, end up being espoused in a never-to-be-read arrogant and elitist thesis). I mean, come on, you've had your fill, now get to work and pay off that fucking student loan.
Greed
Business is the most obvious, and appropriate, candidate here. So appropriate that the buildings in which this so-called faculty is housed are aptly called “temples of greed”. Nothing more represents the downfall of modern society that the degradation of proper academia than the admittance of this trade school into the university community. I mean, really, business/commerce/management/whatever-the-fuck-you-wanna-call-it isn't representative of higher learning or indicative of the pursuit and love of knowledge. Instead it's reflective of the self-interested desire to gain wealth at the expense of others and the world around you. While these beacons of capitalism have done one good thing – defeat communism – they still fall far short of redemption.
Lust
Our local whores come in one pure form at uni: Nursing students. Forever have they taunted us with their sexualized outfits, pursuit of cleanliness, and detailed knowledge of our anatomy. But even though these potential perks enable these students to better society by making us happier, they're all just a bunch of cock teases: Would I like a sponge bath please? Yes. Has a nurse ever bathed me? No. What's even worse is how they try to bullshit about how this objectification is a bad thing; But who's the first to come to the Halloween party dressed as a slutty nurse? A nursing student.
Envy
Engineers are the wannabes of the university community; more often than not to their own detriment. Sure, engineering has been part of proper universities for ages. But they, unfortunately, try to make themselves out to be a “professional degree”. (As if that's something desirable in and of itself.... But that's a whole other bag of worms.) It's like, come off it already. You're not law and you're not medicine. And you're never gonna get there. At the end of the day an electrical engineer is little more than a glorified computer science graduate. At least the latter accepts the fact that she's a life long loser.
Pride
While Medicine has the potential to aid society and it's people in a meaningful and worthwhile way, it's students are no better off then engineers. Pride is their folly. The elitist self-worth of those who strive to be doctors is palpable. Despite the hallow victories of having fought through a competitive field of study, they aren't any better than anyone else. Sure, they might know how to fix you when your broken; but my mechanic knows how to fix my car when it's fucked, and ain't about to call her doctor. “Baby docs” (read: med students) might just be overcompensating for their lack of a social life, but that's just conjecture on my part.
Wraith
Hell hath no fury like a lawyer scorned. The best way to win a battle and get what you want is to have a better understanding of they rulebook than your adversary. And, like it or not, the law is our societal rulebook. And, like it or not, lawyers know the law better than most. So if you piss off a lawyer, she will fuck your shit up... proper. It doesn't help matters that lawyers (starting when law students) are angry lil folk. But it is understandable: all they deal with is people at their worst. But you signed up for it, Mr. Lawyer-man, so you got no excuse.
Sloth
Last, but certainly not least, we've got the lazy ones: part-time students. Get real already guys. Taking 6 years to do 1 lousy undergrad degree is reprehensible. Can you handle a full course load like the rest of us? No, then go work as a janitor (the world always needs more janitors). Ya know what if they're too lazy to be full-time students, it's not worthwhile for me to spend any more time talking about 'em.
I could say more, but I think that’s enough for now. This is just my spur-of-the-moment thoughts on the subject. I could be wrong. After all, what do I know.
No comments:
Post a Comment