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“I'd rather go by bus.” (Prince Charles)
For those of you that read my "Repugnance of Eating" post, you might suffer a similar reaction to this one. Consider this forewarning, it's gonna be in the same vein. Stop reading now if you a naive idealist; convinced in the greatness of everything deemed "good". In fact, if that's who you are, just go kill yourself; your relentless positivity drives us normals crazy.
That foreword aside, I hate public buses. They're blue collar, gross, and undignified. But, for whatever reason, they're popular. Poor people use 'em cuz their cheap. Communists use them for the common good. Hippies uses them 'cause it's better for the planet. Really, though, these groups are all members of one uber-group: students. Students are stupid. They sleep in, go to uni, and sit around talking about the greatness of Maoism. All without putting in 15 minutes of genuine work per day. Don't get me wrong, studenthood is fantastic. I'm a relentless fan of learning and the general experiences that come with being a student. But that doesn't mean students are right.
Really, though, it's those student types that most often defend public transportation. The other people that have to patron buses don't. Blue collar types, for instance. They typically don't like the bus any more than I; they just have to take it. They can't afford a car or the fuel to run it. So they have to take the bus. And that's understandable. And okay for them. But for the rest of society - the non-blue collar types - having to sit near them on the bus is degrading. The jerkoff idealists might "boo hiss" me here for being a social elitist here, but the tenability of social elitism isn’t the issue at hand. I'm comfortable with people from different social classes mingling, but it should be done on their terms. People should mingle because they want to; not by force in virtue of having to share the same 40-foot limousine.
And that's really a stupid euphemism for busses - “40-ft limo”. In the words of Tui advertising, “Yea, Right.” It sugar coats over what they are - gross - and makes them sound pleasant (which they’re not). Even brand new busses look fresh out of the Soviet Bloc of yesteryear; made for utility and for the long haul. Ugly patterns designed to hide stains and graffiti. Plastic seats that require little or no maintenance. No air conditioning to cool it, which causes the fat ugly people inside to sweat and stink up the bus more than they normally do on a dreary rainy day. And nothing to quiet the noise of the motor or the world around you. Travelling should be quiet and comfortable; a way for you to get from your point of departure to the point of arrival in comfort and isolation; in a bubble.
Travelling in a bubble keeps you dignified. That's not to say that it makes you dignified. Whatever level of dignity you got when you get in your car you'll still have when you get out. But cars typically don't take away your dignity or sophistication. Sure some cars, like "boy racers" look (and are) stupid. But if you own one of those or freely enter one you look (and are) stupid to begin with, regardless of how you choose to get around. No reasonable person can say that buses are dignified. Because they ain't. You look like a chump when you wait at the bus stop and when you run to make it there on time; dignified ppl get around on their schedule, not that of the city transit authority. And no one looks dignified getting off a bus, no matter how nicely she's dressed. When you get off a busy you stagger a bit, having had to jump to the curb, and look around as if disoriented. Then, as soon as the bus loudly pulls away, you walk and try to present yourself as having been there the whole time; having no association with the ungodly abomination crowding our fine city streets.
The worst, tho, is the existence of the bus itself. I already went over the horrors of being forcibly associated with riff raff and the lack of basic creature comforts our advanced civilization has afforded us, but the real tragedy is the suffering inflicted on everyone so long as buses crowd our motorways. Even from the outside they're an eyesore. Brandished with fugly paint jobs and whored to the hilt with adverts. While noisy and smelly on the inside, those offenses are worse for those good folks in the convertible next to it. But this is when those jerkoff idealists pipe up again; moaning about the "benefits" to the environment. Gimme a break. Buses surely aren't improving my environment. And their detrimental qualities - the ones I've presented fairly here - outweigh any prospective green perks. I mean, if you're that concerned about the planet, walk. Or bicycle. Or get a horse. But you're ideals and attitudes shouldn't be forced upon the rest of us. We shouldn't have to deal with buses just because you say the planet needs them. In the defence of buses, the only plausible avenue is prudence. With out buses, how’s the blue collar worker suppose to get to the pulp mill? Or the punk to McD's to flip my burger? Or the crazy vagrant to his street corners downtown? They need the bus. But those students types who support the but business don't. So while buses may be a necessary evil of the modern world, that doesn't mean we need to like 'em. In that way, buses are kinda like taxes. I could say more, but I think that’s enough for now. This is just my spur-of-the-moment thoughts on the subject. I could be wrong. After all, what do I know.
2 comments:
LOL.
You've made a good point, albeit in a way that makes you sound a bit of a jerk. (I don't like sitting next to poor kids with headlice either, but getting all sniffy and calling it 'degrading' sounds rather....snobby.)
But essentially, even though I wish you'd sugar coated your rhetoric for my politically correct eyes to read, what you are saying is correct. People hate the bus, because it sucks, it smells funny, you have to sit next to people you would normally cross the street to avoid. It's basically a cattle truck but for people. No one takes the bus because they are like 'Ooooo, a BUS - fun!'People take the bus because they can't afford anything else.
That's interesting because, as you say, people ( including Maoist loving students) campaign and lobby for free, or cheaper public transport because it would get cars off the road and save the planet. But you could pour as much money as you like into buying more buses, making the buses look prettier etc, and it still wouldn't be as cool as the freedom of driving your own car to work, listening to your own radio station, and not sitting next to the homeless guy who just shat himself. In essence, subsiding the bus doesnt necessarily mean more people will want to take the bus - so its a pretty inefficient waste of public money.
It's a bit of distressing conclusion to reach, because like I say, buses are better for the environment than a shit load of cars. But reluctant as I am to say it, saying public transport is useless is probably an accurate conclusion.
In conclusion, buses suck.
WRONG> Buses are the way of the future. We are becoming more and more physically isolated, the more technologically connected we become. So buses = the answer. I love sitting in a bus with everyone (apart from psycho lil teenager boy who kept trying to look up my skirt last week, despite the fact i had black tights on. NOOB) and seeing people head off on their different adventures. I even make paper cranes out of my bus tickets and hide them for the people who will will sit in my seat once I'm gone. Public transport reminds everyone about the big world out there and the billions of intertwining human lifestories that exist. SO COOL.
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